Benimaru: *looks up* Oh! Welcome to channel -6 KOF News. I'm Benimaru Nikaido.
King: And I'm King.
Benimaru: You think your better cause your name is shorter don't you?
King: Whatever, shut up. *looks at camera and smiles* First off today, Kyo has signed a contract with Nanasake Records and is planning on becoming the next Ricky Martin.
Benimaru: Here he is posing for his newest album, "Kyo gone Latino"
Benimaru: Yea, I bet. Kyo did state that he can't wait 'till Yagami starts to copy him and make a fool of himself.
King: Err....right. Anyways, in other news today: Chang has sadly passed away. He was hit by a bus, passangers and drivers died on impact. Later he suffered a mild heartattack while chasing an ice cream truck.
Benimaru: Lets all have a moment of silence for Chang...
*Three seconds later*
King: Okay!
Benimaru: Now for a slutty picture of King.
King:Hey! Thats not slutty! I look beautiful!
Benimaru: Pssh! Yea right! You always look like a ho.
King: Oh yea?! Well you look like a faggot in Capcom vs. SNK!
King: See?!
Benimaru: I do not! Capcom can't draw! What can I say?
King: *sigh* Excuses excuses...
Benimaru: Whatever... Now, we go to weather with Robert Garcia! Robert?...
Robert: Hmm... lets see. Do I look more sexy in my '98 costume or my '99 costume?... hmm... I'm a heart-throb to women either way...
King: ROBERT!!!!!
Robert: Huh?! Oh!!!! *sexy smile* Today's weather is gonna be hot... like me! Ha ha, anyways. Its going to be a high of 103 so girls better get down into yo' bikinis. I'll meet yall at the beach after the broadcast. So don't be bringing your jealous boyfriend. I know yall don't wanna see me shaking some pecs when I kick their sorry...
Benimaru: Robert!!!! Can you please get on with the weather forecast?!
Robert: Oh yeah... Well, tomorrow is also gonna be hot. *laughs sexily* But too bad its a school day for all you high school chicks out there. Well, theres always Saturday. Back to you, King.
Benimaru: I'm here too!!!
Robert: Oh yeah... and Beni.
King: Thank you Robert for that... erhm... Intriguing weather forecast...
Benimaru: *sighs* Why did we hire him anyways?
The camera man:*whispers* Cause he brings us high ratings.
Benimaru: Oh!..
King: In more important news today, Detective first class, Ryuji Yamazaki is on the case of the ninja Eiji who was reported missing back in '95. Heres a promotional poster made by Mr. Yamazaki himself.
Benimaru: Interesting... Didn't we see him back in Dreammatch '99 hiding in Heavy D's stage?
King: He does look familiar...
Benimaru: Anyways... *hears some commotion going on in the background* What the?!...
King: YAMAZAKI?!!! What are you doing here?!
Yamazaki: I've come to show my own personal video. Role the tape boys!
Benimaru: YAMAZAKI GET OUT OF HERE!!!
King: Yeah you stuck up, over-grown, crazy knife guy!
Benimaru: Viewers have already seen your stupid case! And they saw how poorly you handled it!
Yamazaki: Poorly?! Why, I'll show you!
King: Beni is right for once! Now get off the set Yama!
Yamazaki: well.. could you atleast tell them about my case?
Benimaru: *sighs* Fine...
King: Now would you please leave?!
*Yamazaki pouts and goes on his way.*
King: If you fellow viewers didn't know. First class detective Ryuji Yamazaki took a case from our very own weather man and tried to hunt down a ninja whose been missing since '95... *mutters* we already told this story earlier...
Benimaru: Blah blah... Even though there was absolutely no evidence what-so-ever! It wasn't a surprise that the dude failed!
King: Now onto more important, and present news!
*Yamazaki is screaming in the background*
Yamazaki: I'll get you Benimaru! And your little dog too! Is this what I get for promoting your shampoo?!
Benimaru: *ignoring Yamazaki* In other news today... There was a brawl outside of Kim KapHwan's Tae Kwan Doe training center. The Lone Wolf Terry Bogard was out on a stroll to visit his friend when some drunk samurai guy came out of nowhere and attacked him.
King: Lets go outside Kim's training center where our reporter, Athena Asamiya is. Athena, can you tell us whats going on?
*camera switches to Kim's training center where Athena is standing.*
Athena: Thank you, King. I'm here at Kim's Tae Kwan Do center where a big fight just broke out between Terry Bogard and Samurai Spirits, Haomaru. Mr. Bogard, can you tell us what happened?
Terry: *in a dramatic voice* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when some drunk guy called me a monster and tackled me to the ground! I was gonna give him a Rising Tackle 'till I saw that big ass sword he had! So you know what I did?
Athena: What?
Terry: I gave him a Rising Tackle!
Athena: err... But you just said you weren't because of his sword?
Terry: Ahem! Who was in the battle? So mind your own business reporter lady!
*Terry shuffles off*
Athena: ehehe... right. Well, lets question Mr. Haomaru now. Mr. Haomaru, why did you attack Terry Bogard?
Haomaru: *clears throat* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when some drunk guy called me a monster and tackled me to the ground!
Athena: What?! Thats just what Terry said though!
Haomaru: Oh... Well... uh.. what was the question again?
Athena: *sigh* Why did you attack Mr. Bogard?
Haomaru: *clears throat* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when...
Athena: Nevermind Mr. Haomaru!
Haomaru: Ok..
Athena: *sigh* Well, there you have it folks. Back to you King and Beni.
Benimaru: Thank you Athena. And may I say your looking rather slim. You must've been using Beni's Basic Butt Buster Bash!
Athena: No, actually. I've been using a more promising product called Athena's All-Out Aerobic Action! It promises a slimmer look in 2 days! Not 3.
Benimaru: *growls* Whatever!
King: *tries to keep a smile infront of the camera* Well fellow news viewers, thats all we have for the 6 o'clock news today. Please stay tuned for the 10 o'clock news later tonight where we'll be showing how to keep away from false products and a story on the N.E.S.Ts project and how it only started out as a Quick Stop convenient store.
*Dramatic news music comes on as the camera goes dark...*