*News theme comes up, camera showing King and Benimaru behind a desk looking at some papers and shuffling things around.*

Benimaru: *looks up* Oh! Welcome to channel -6 KOF News. I'm Benimaru Nikaido.

King: And I'm King.

Benimaru: You think your better cause your name is shorter don't you?

King: Whatever, shut up. *looks at camera and smiles* First off today, Kyo has signed a contract with Nanasake Records and is planning on becoming the next Ricky Martin.

Benimaru: Here he is posing for his newest album, "Kyo gone Latino"

King: The girls will be screaming for that one.

Benimaru: Yea, I bet. Kyo did state that he can't wait 'till Yagami starts to copy him and make a fool of himself.

King: Err....right. Anyways, in other news today: Chang has sadly passed away. He was hit by a bus, passangers and drivers died on impact. Later he suffered a mild heartattack while chasing an ice cream truck.

Benimaru: Lets all have a moment of silence for Chang...

*Three seconds later*

King: Okay!

Benimaru: Now for a slutty picture of King.

King:Hey! Thats not slutty! I look beautiful!

Benimaru: Pssh! Yea right! You always look like a ho.

King: Oh yea?! Well you look like a faggot in Capcom vs. SNK!

King: See?!

Benimaru: I do not! Capcom can't draw! What can I say?

King: *sigh* Excuses excuses...

Benimaru: Whatever... Now, we go to weather with Robert Garcia! Robert?...

Robert: Hmm... lets see. Do I look more sexy in my '98 costume or my '99 costume?... hmm... I'm a heart-throb to women either way...

King: ROBERT!!!!!

Robert: Huh?! Oh!!!! *sexy smile* Today's weather is gonna be hot... like me! Ha ha, anyways. Its going to be a high of 103 so girls better get down into yo' bikinis. I'll meet yall at the beach after the broadcast. So don't be bringing your jealous boyfriend. I know yall don't wanna see me shaking some pecs when I kick their sorry...

Benimaru: Robert!!!! Can you please get on with the weather forecast?!

Robert: Oh yeah... Well, tomorrow is also gonna be hot. *laughs sexily* But too bad its a school day for all you high school chicks out there. Well, theres always Saturday. Back to you, King.

Benimaru: I'm here too!!!

Robert: Oh yeah... and Beni.

King: Thank you Robert for that... erhm... Intriguing weather forecast...

Benimaru: *sighs* Why did we hire him anyways?

The camera man:*whispers* Cause he brings us high ratings.

Benimaru: Oh!..

King: In more important news today, Detective first class, Ryuji Yamazaki is on the case of the ninja Eiji who was reported missing back in '95. Heres a promotional poster made by Mr. Yamazaki himself.

Benimaru: Interesting... Didn't we see him back in Dreammatch '99 hiding in Heavy D's stage?

King: He does look familiar...

Benimaru: Anyways... *hears some commotion going on in the background* What the?!...

King: YAMAZAKI?!!! What are you doing here?!

Yamazaki: I've come to show my own personal video. Role the tape boys!


King: Yeah you stuck up, over-grown, crazy knife guy!

Benimaru: Viewers have already seen your stupid case! And they saw how poorly you handled it!

Yamazaki: Poorly?! Why, I'll show you!

King: Beni is right for once! Now get off the set Yama!

Yamazaki: well.. could you atleast tell them about my case?

Benimaru: *sighs* Fine...

King: Now would you please leave?!

*Yamazaki pouts and goes on his way.*

King: If you fellow viewers didn't know. First class detective Ryuji Yamazaki took a case from our very own weather man and tried to hunt down a ninja whose been missing since '95... *mutters* we already told this story earlier...

Benimaru: Blah blah... Even though there was absolutely no evidence what-so-ever! It wasn't a surprise that the dude failed!

King: Now onto more important, and present news!

*Yamazaki is screaming in the background*

Yamazaki: I'll get you Benimaru! And your little dog too! Is this what I get for promoting your shampoo?!

Benimaru: *ignoring Yamazaki* In other news today... There was a brawl outside of Kim KapHwan's Tae Kwan Doe training center. The Lone Wolf Terry Bogard was out on a stroll to visit his friend when some drunk samurai guy came out of nowhere and attacked him.

King: Lets go outside Kim's training center where our reporter, Athena Asamiya is. Athena, can you tell us whats going on?

*camera switches to Kim's training center where Athena is standing.*

Athena: Thank you, King. I'm here at Kim's Tae Kwan Do center where a big fight just broke out between Terry Bogard and Samurai Spirits, Haomaru. Mr. Bogard, can you tell us what happened?

Terry: *in a dramatic voice* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when some drunk guy called me a monster and tackled me to the ground! I was gonna give him a Rising Tackle 'till I saw that big ass sword he had! So you know what I did?

Athena: What?

Terry: I gave him a Rising Tackle!

Athena: err... But you just said you weren't because of his sword?

Terry: Ahem! Who was in the battle? So mind your own business reporter lady!

*Terry shuffles off*

Athena: ehehe... right. Well, lets question Mr. Haomaru now. Mr. Haomaru, why did you attack Terry Bogard?

Haomaru: *clears throat* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when some drunk guy called me a monster and tackled me to the ground!

Athena: What?! Thats just what Terry said though!

Haomaru: Oh... Well... uh.. what was the question again?

Athena: *sigh* Why did you attack Mr. Bogard?

Haomaru: *clears throat* Well... I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when...

Athena: Nevermind Mr. Haomaru!

Haomaru: Ok..

Athena: *sigh* Well, there you have it folks. Back to you King and Beni.

Benimaru: Thank you Athena. And may I say your looking rather slim. You must've been using Beni's Basic Butt Buster Bash!

Athena: No, actually. I've been using a more promising product called Athena's All-Out Aerobic Action! It promises a slimmer look in 2 days! Not 3.

Benimaru: *growls* Whatever!

King: *tries to keep a smile infront of the camera* Well fellow news viewers, thats all we have for the 6 o'clock news today. Please stay tuned for the 10 o'clock news later tonight where we'll be showing how to keep away from false products and a story on the N.E.S.Ts project and how it only started out as a Quick Stop convenient store.

*Dramatic news music comes on as the camera goes dark...*