King Of Fighters Goes On Maury
*Maury theme comes on and Maury walks onto the stage as the audience claps*
Maury: Thank you and welcome to my show. Today's topic is: "Who's the father of my baby?!" Today, a young girl named Whip wants a paternity test on three different men. Lets bring out Whip.
*The audience claps as Whip walks onto the stage, hugs Maury, and sits down.*
Maury:Hello Whip, how are you feeling?
Whip: Well, a little confused. I want to know who's the father of my little Kenny, my son.
Maury: And how old is Kenny?
Whip: He's five months old.
Maury: Now, you say its either Iori, Kyo, or Benimaru thats the father. Who do you think is the father?
Whip: Well, I'm hoping its Kyo. The baby looks just like him.
Maury: How did you meet these three?
Whip: They were on the whip and deciples team with me.
Maury: I see. Well, these three gentlemen are backstage. Here's what they had to say about it.
*camera goes back stage. Iori takes his turn, first.
Iori: Look, this kid ain't mine! He doesn't even have the marroon hair, creep eyes, or anything! Being on this show is just a waste of time. I know I'm not the father. So Whip, just shut your mouth and stop blaming people for your problems!
Kyo: Uhm. . .I don't even know why I'm here. I never even slept with Whip before.
Benimaru: Whip, I got news for you, ho! I am NOT the father! You sleezy *beep*! All you do is sleep around! That kid doesn't look anything like me anyways! Even if it is my kid, I must of been drunk to sleep with a slut like you! Besides, theres no way my son would have a weak name like Kenny!
Kyo: Uhm, Beni, thats your favorite wrestlers name.
Benimaru: Shut up!
*back on stage, Whip is in tears*
Whip: How could Kyo say that?! He knows he's the father!
Maury: *trying to comfort Whip* Its ok, Whip. Lets bring out these three.
*the audience boo's as Iori, Kyo and Benimaru walk out. Benimaru runs up to the front of the stage, yelling at the audience.*
Benimaru: Shut the *beep* up! I'll kick all your asses! You know I'm not the father!
Iori: *joins in* Me neither! Whip is just a little whore! So stop wasting my *beep* time!
*Kyo quietly sits down next to Whip. After awhile Beni and Iori calm down and sit*
Whip: *still crying* Kyo, why are you saying this?! I thought you would be responsible!
Kyo: *calmly* Whip, I'm sorry, but I don't even remember sleeping with you. Please, don't cry.
Whip:Kyo! Look at your baby! He looks just like you!
Kyo: Whip, no. . .
Iori: Hey! Why is Benimaru and myself here if she's blaming Kyo?!
Maury: Cause' you also slept with her, so its a possibility!
Benimaru: Who cares?! Man, she's slept with so many people, you could be the dad, Maury!
*Whip gets out of her seat and starts screaming in Benimaru's face*
Whip: Don't call me a ho! If Kenny is your baby, then what are you gonna do?!
Benimaru: I don't have to worry about that cause' I ain't the father!
Maury: *calmly* Whip, sit down.
*It takes awhile, but with Kyo's help, Maury gets Whip to sit down.*
Iori: *studying a picture of the baby* Actually, ya know, the baby has Beni's eyes. . .
Benimaru: What?! Iori, not you too!
Whip: *pauses* Wait...he does! And his chin! My baby looks like Benimaru!
Benimaru: Your all crazy! *turns to the audience* Does this baby look like me?!
Benimaru: *beep* you too!
Kyo: *holding back his laughter* Whip, you shouldn't blame Beni untill you know for sure.
Whip: Well, I'm just scared that Iori might be the father.
Kyo: Oh, I see.
*Benimaru starts laughing*
Iori: You shut up, femmenist! Theres no way you'd be the father since your gay!
Benimaru: What'd you say *beep*?!
Iori: You heard me!
*before Beni and Iori could start fighting. . .*
Maury: Everyone! The results are in! *holds up an envelope*
Beni & Iori: Huh? Open it! Open!
*Maury opens the envelope and pulls out the results*
Maury: *reading the paper* Kyo Kusanagi, you are not the father.
*Kyo mutters yes under his breath*
Maury: Iori Yagami, you are not the father.
Iori: Hell yeah!
Maury: Benimaru Nikaido,*dramatic pause* you are not the father.
Benimaru:*jumps out of his seat while Whip starts bawling* Oh hell yes! I told yall! I told yall! I bet you feel like a *beep* idiot, Whip!
Maury: Whip, you are not the mother.
Whip:*thinks for a minute* Oh yeah! Now I remember! This is Leona's kid! I was babysitting for her! Hehe, I must of had too much to drink.
Iori: Geez! So all this was just a big mistake. A waste of damn time!
Kyo: Well, people make mistakes, Iori.
Benimaru: Yeah, but what she did was just plain stupid.
Maury: Uhm. . . Well, thats all the time we have for today, folks. Join me next time, the topic is: "I cheated on my boyfriend, with his brother!" Bye bye!
*Maury theme comes on and lights fade away*